If I had never let go as we walked past the doors and held on to your hand for just once,
If I had called you five seconds later and told you I needed you to come back,
If I had realised sooner that they did not matter,
If I had not told you what I wanted to do and brought that whole fairytale-like scene into reality,
If I had not garnered enough courage to tell you what you did not believe in,
If I had one moment just to fit all the puzzles together,
If.
But believe it or not, thats not the point at all.
The point is, that I've dipped my feet into that other pool, unconciously, and I dont like what I've found. I'd rather wait than to have to follow 'rules' or start worrying about the impressions I'm giving. Cause, I'd rather wait a long time to be true to myself than to have to explain to the world that my intentions are never what society stereotypes as.
And because, I think somewhere inside of me is hope for the impossible, just not the impossible it was hoping for 7 months ago anymore. It is hope that has neither base nor support. And hope that will probably need a whole lot of patience to prevail.
I'm officially throwing myself into busy-ness and making myself not free for the whole two months left. Oh and also cause I have a very big excuse.
And... you probably dont wanna figure this out cause its all messed up with so many things. =P well, not quite so many.
<3
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