To the Woman I owe my entire existence to.

Happy Birthday Mummy!!! =)
Won't say how old you are but nearly half a century, eh? =P

I miss being short enough to fit under the crook of your arm and snuggle up in bed til I was like 8 or 9 and grew too tall to fit.

I miss the nights where I had my own room and you and daddy would always come and put me to bed and pray with me and I would watch your footsteps leave from the hole at the bottom of the door that could always tell me when the lights at the stairs were switch off or not.

I remember when I got into that accident with the glass shower door and just before the doctor stitched me up, you came in to soothen me although I was pretty much in shock so I was quite calm for someone who just got the whole glass door shattered in her hands. lol. But you came to see if I was alright and you took my hand and prayed for me, telling me that I'll be just fine. I couldnt think very well at that time cause at the back of my mind I was still wondering what had happened to me but having you soothen my nerves made me feel how lucky I was.

You know mum, as far as I know, you're the strongest person I know. Through the stories you've told me about your life, I dont know how anyone else could have gone through that and just withstand everything.

And you know what? You've given life to 3 gorgeous girls and one handsome boy so you should be beyond proud of yourself! =D

I know we're all growing up and we're not around much anymore. But we DO miss you mum! I especially love how we can all get on skype sometimes and just talk about everything in full speed. Not just skype but when we get back home and the 4 of us have our female talks, now THAT, no matter how much we end up arguing too, is what I love most about having two sisters and a mother.

No matter how much I thank you, it will never be enough compared to what you've done for me. But Thank You, Mummy. I dont think you know how much of an impact you've had on everything we've become today. Cause honestly, your influence around me is everywhere. I really know where I get all my strange habits and likings now! LOL

So on this day that you were born many many years ago, I hope that life will bring twice as much happiness back to you for everything that you have done for me. Thank you Mummy. Happy Birthday and I miss you mum.

Love you! =)

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Secondhand Serenade.

So today at pastoral session, we were shown a videoclip of Susan Boyle. Yes I know I'm quite outdated but its not my fault. I knew about her but I hadnt actually listened to her cause I havent got the chance to. But when she began, I literally got goosebumps! And she sang 'I Dreamed a Dream'! that was like one of my favourite songs from Les Miserables and I used to play it on the piano all the time. She sounded like a professional opera singer! Gosh, it was such awesome payback to the people who laughed at her.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9lp0IWv8QZY

"Bloody fantastic." LOL

Sorry I dont know how to paste the video here. and I just HAD to blog about this =P

P.S. : currently obsessed with Your Call.

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Search of the Soul.

Out of the next month, there's only gonna be 7 rain free days. WINTER'S HERE! Goodbye sun =S it's like a hurricane over here. Remind me that im staying indoors for the next weekends.

I would go to the formal if ... But I'm also flying on the day anyways. Screw me if this is gonna be for nothing.

I need a nice waterproof jacket.

I want to know what's going on inside there. ooi!

I miss doing further maths. I LIKED the first sac!!! (partly cos it was my best overall *shhh) =P

It may sound egoistic, but I really want to know how they did better than me. Honestly.

The other night I dreamt that kim got married against our (kelly and I) approval, like we were totally not into the wedding. HAHA parents and jordie werent there. Oh and the groom wasnt her current bf. HAHA

I've lost my tan and am officially pale again =(

I dont know how and what the stain on the shirt is. And the smell's completely lost. =/

If what we're doing on identity & belonging for english(esl) is true, then clearly I am such a rebellious individual against my own group. Though its quite passive. =P

I have a very strong desire to study human behaviour. Nuf said.



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Unconsciously Torn.

“He’s coming with me”, the text message read pointedly. Her eyes opened wider in surprise and panic, reading the text message again.

It was a time of fear and terror. The mere act of going out to shop for a few things was a risk of getting caught and perhaps killed. They descended the escalator and walked into the crowded room where everyone was lining up to get out. You could hear the sound of voices singing gospel songs despite the fear imposed air. Guards stood at every corner. They finally reached the end of the line, handed their documents and were allowed to go home.

She turned the knob of the hotel door slowly, biting her bottom lip, and walked in. She sat down on the floor where the others were already seated and looked at him curiously. Seated next to her, he darted his eyes towards her and held her eyes for a moment. She glanced at her sister and glared at her for pushing her into this unwanted situation. He started small talk with her, looking into her eyes every now and then. She could not quite understand why somewhere inside her was this desire for her to wrap her arms around him when she was well aware that they were in a state of uncertainty and unwillingness to talk. Was this all in her head? Or the mind of her head? Could she actually control these stories that rarely ever continued?

Apparently, a little.

P.S. : Written on friday but I was away for the weekend so had no time to post.

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Stay.

I'm sorry, I do not want to be emo. But you see, I'm scared. Afraid beyond words. Look inside and you'll see this girl hiding in a corner refusing to move. There are others who walk past, some who pause for a brief moment and some who bend down to talk. But the problem is, I do not want to tell because I know their answers before I can question. The trick is to hold on and move on. You see, all I want right now is impossible.

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Allure.

The very first thing that comes into your mind as you walk into the La Trobe Reading Room at the State Library of Victoria is Harry Potter. You know the scene where the staircases move and where harry & friends walk up the staircases past the moving paintings, yes, you are reminded of that as soon as you take your first step in.

Bookcases that I have no idea whether there is actual access to it or not.

I didnt read the history of it but from what it seems, this area used to be a court. Clearly this middle part is where the main speaker stands and declares this and that.

These upper areas have staircases leading up but I do not know what they lead to. I think they lead to meeting rooms and such.

Another entrance (not the main one)

As the La Trobe room is in the center of the center of the library, when you look up, you are greeted by this magnificent octagon. If you're lucky, the rays of sun will shine through giving more light into the dim room.

I cannot tell you how it makes me feel. For some reason, it lured me in everytime I went to the state library. Not that I took the effort to climb the stairs to reach the room. But for some reason, it lightens me and puts a smile on my face. If you know me well and if I have ever shared with you my future plans, you would know how desperate I want to travel to Europe though with my own earned cash.

For now though, I've found my tiny little Europe smacked right in the middle of Melbourne and I am content. =)

Photographs note: All taken by my camera except the second and last which were taken by my laptop's built in webcam. I'm no pro, I just attempt to take nice photographs.

P.S.: I set up a poll on the right. Be nice and answer it. Only takes 5 seconds and one click. ;)

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Forefront.

Holidays have finished. Trotted and lugged the suitcase back for the umpteenth time, funny thing is I'm gonna do the same thing in exactly two months time. I know, WOW.

In short, holidays were kinda hectic but enjoyable, its like im standing in between two chapters of my life, one foot itching to step into the next, the other foot standing firmly down on the current one.

Oh and I also want to add how I spent A BIG SUM of money on food food food and I only went shopping once and bought TWO things during the hols for 20aud in total. How awesome is my self control? =P Now, I just need to get through this term with the most minimal usage of cash.

So term2 begins, the cold and dark weeks that lay ahead of me are definitely gonna rush past with such brutal hecticness. I can already foresee it. Thank goodness none of my subjects have a mid-year exam so all I have to prepare for are my sacs and GAT exam. Even so, this is the start of the brutality and pain of my senior year. And yet, I wouldnt trade places with anyone for this.

Although you could take my maths exam for me =P stupid mathsss. How am I suppose to even consider banking & finance? Gah.

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Warmth.

I am so sorry. Currently in no way to blog no thanks to being internet-less and the weekend. Wait til school starts again. Meanwhile...

Watch this space.

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Cold.

Let me tell you that sitting alone at the state library is pretty good, if I can just stay here the whole day without having to satisfy my other needs. Unfortunately, they arent called needs for no reason. Like how I want to go to toilet but I cant cos I need to drag everything so I withstand it for awhile til I really cant. LOL And also like how I want to go out and get a drink and a snack but I cant bring it back into the library so nevermind that. Sad sad case.

Moving on.

I wanted to post pictures of this place in the center of the library but the wireless is so slow and its not allowing me to upload photos so I shall just do it another day and leave you with a snippet.

Happy Easter Everyone! =)

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Clueless.

Rough Updates.

I'm on a two week midsem break/quarter year break/easter break. Currently staying with you know whos, if you dont go figure. Our place doesnt have internet yet so I have to drag my laptop to the state library to use free wireless. Surprisingly, I dont have tons of homework though I still have a fair bit so I plan to finish them all this week and then have my lasts of relaxing times next week =D

Hols have been awesome so far. Somewhat the uni life minus actually going to uni. Though I attended a lecture at MelbU just now with crystal for fun and I adore MelbU but gosh, still so indecisive. I have to re-evaluate yet again my uni choices. sigh. Cant wait for uni though ;)

On a totally random note, I want to get bubble tea but I cant because I have to drag everything there, finish it and then trot back to the library and all by my lonesome self, so oh well, shall endure dehydration for a bit. =/

I want to show pictures of this place right in the middle of the state library that has somewhat captured my heart, but I'll post it another day.

On an emo note, I'm stuck, lost and left to wander the tunnel alone. Hmmm.


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Dearest Darling Deborah

Happy Sassy Seventeen Deborah Yaw!

Wishing you a fantastic 17th year and many smashing moments for the next 12 months!

Remember the first time we met up again in Dec when you came to my house to help me put up the tree? And I dragged you upstairs, only to sit on the top of the stairs to rant to you? I wish I could just pull you away again and give you a big bear hug today. I miss spending time with you and how you were always my sidekick against those two. =P

To tell the truth, even though we've known each other for like 10 years?, I feel like I only really know you now. Thank you for being there for me throughout the last few years, you've been a truly awesome friend! Btw, Thanks for helping me out in the hols. =)

I hope your birthday turns out the way you want it to be. Love you babe! See you soon. ;)

P.S. : Did you get my msg?

P.S.S. : Daylight savings today means that I'm now only forward 2 hours of Msia

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Separated.

10 weeks have passed.

I wont lie.
I wont beat around the bush.
But I shant tell you.
I shant let you see.
Inside, I'm afraid.
Outside, I'll put on a brave face.
If this is what it takes, I'll take it.
If this is what I have to withstand, I'll do it.
I told them before,
I'd tell you if you'd ask.
The answer remains the same,
The questions dont change.
I am here to stay,
I'll be here at the end of the day.
For as long as I can,
This will be my stance.
For at the core of my heart,
I know I need you.

P.S. : Wish you were here.

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